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Well, it had to happen sometime! Today was my first really rough day of my new lifestyle, mostly because of social pressures that lead me confused as to how to do this and have a social life at the same time. Also because of a weird thing that happened with a friend.. I didn't actually cheat on my diet, but the day really brought to the surface all the anxiety about my weight and my low self esteem to the forefront.
I have been somewhat avoiding people since i started, not that i have too active of a social life any way because I'm shy, but i have a few friends that are all dudes, unfortunately. One of my favorite people who always makes me laugh called today and was really, really pushing me to go to this nude beach tomorrow. Now, i know that nude beaches aren't about sex appeal and perfect bodies or anything, but its difficult enough for me to go outside and feel comfortable. I cant even not wear a sweater without feeling horrible. I only get naked to shower! So why would i want to surround myself with people who don't understand that problem? How do i go to a beach in a black sweater? Worse yet, i tried to tell him how much i objected to it and he wouldn't listen, so now, I have to like email him with a lame excuse tomorrow and hope he doesn't email me back and call so i don't have to explain that i'm so uncomfortable with myself that I cant handle being around a crowd of people who aren't. I'm annoyed that when was clearly not interested hen pushed, and that I have eto be 'uncool' and 'uptight' about it for not going.
This is so much easier to do alone, but then, there are no hugs. Just a bad day emotionally, and i think tomorrow will be worse.
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1557 kcal
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Fat: 42.09g | Prot: 105.84g | Carbs: 204.53g.
Breakfast: tostitos salsa, banana, Egg, Bacon Style Turkey. Lunch: fat cream of mushroom soup, boneless skinless chicken breast. Dinner: fat free cream cheese, red onion, garlic, ground turkey, romaine lettuce leaves, bacon style turkey. Snacks/Other: Cocoa Powder (Unsweetened), Lemon, Lemonade Tea Iced Tea Mix, apple juice, apricot. more...
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 Comments
On the much brighter side you must not look as bad as you think you do otherwise why would they invite you in the first place? I really think you might be being to hard on yourself. But at the same time I completely understand where you are coming from. Just wanted to give you some food for thought!
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Yeah, its possible you're right, thanks for the comment! I really am my win worst critic!
11 Jul 10 by member: erin74kr
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Win should say own, Typo!
11 Jul 10 by member: erin74kr
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A nude beach for anyone is awkward. I don't care if you have the perfect body, it is just a mind fuck for lack of a better phrase. This is what I would do, I would be honest with your friend, even if it is in an email. I would let him know that you appreciate being included but if he really cares about you, then he'll back off bc you are making some really positive life changes. There is NO shame in that! Honestly! If your 'friends' can't be real friends then get new ones. There are a couple billion people in the world... There will always be new friends, lovers, and people to surround yourself with. None of which you can even enjoy if you aren't healthy. You are your first priority. Always remember that. Don't have bad day tomorrow, think about how your friends will be at this nude beach being awkward and you'll be enjoying the path to a healthy lifestyle. And who knows maybe this time next year the nude beach will be for you, maybe that's a good goal. But if not, no worries. Baby steps.
11 Jul 10 by member: kanan123
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Thanks again kanan! You give such great advice. You're right, and I think mostly I'm pissed that I am not more strong in my convictions about things. And the awkward factor is a big thing. I don't want to see him naked either! I don't think a nude beach will ever be my thing! I don't want to make anyone feel bad for bothering me, but it really did bother me that he wouldnt quit with it knowing I'll always give in! Guys are weird, i totally need some girlfriends in this city instead! I'm feeling much better now, thanks again.
11 Jul 10 by member: erin74kr
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Him pushing for you to go, kinda makes me wonder if he actually isn't anxious to see you naked! It's a weird request for anyone to push someone to go to a nude beach I think. I would be pretty put out if someone were inviting me to go and I said no too, not because I would feel uncomfortable in my own body, so much as I wouldn't want to see all the other naked people! Anyhow, kanan123 is right, you should just be honest with your friend that you don't feel comfortable and that his pushing you is really upsetting to you. If you are only naked for showering though...that is kind of something you might want to work on at home. You might want to try and really look at your body naked in the mirror and start trying to love aspects of it, even if you can't love all of it yet. No one should hate their body so much. To me you seem very beautiful. Try to appreciate your beauty a little!
11 Jul 10 by member: pisces19
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I think he's uncool... i would want to spent my time with you only
sharing openess is for you to decide when and where, when the time is ready you'll know it, if he only wants your friendship he'll understand and the black sweater will be FINE don't do something your not sure of just becuse someone pressuring you.( I also agree with kanan andpisces you're a beautiful girl..
11 Jul 10 by member: thecoach
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I agree with everyone's responses, & since you're not comfortable with it you can make that very clear without creating more awkwardness. Like when he brings it up again, you can say something like, "You know what, I did consider it & that's just not something I'm comfortable with. I appreciate the invite but it's not going to happen." If he continued pressing the issue, that would indicate it's HIS issue, not yours, that is making this a big deal, & I'd call him out on it. "I thought I was very clear about how I felt about this, but you obviously can't take no for an answer, so what's really going on here?"
11 Jul 10 by member: kstubblefield
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I agree and can't add much more but to just say you are beautiful and you need to be you. Don't let people push you into things you do not want to do. The only person who will suffer from that is you. We all support you here! Have a great day
11 Jul 10 by member: skinnygirl130
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Anyone pushing anything is a really bad idea, and has more to do with "their" insecurities than yours.
It's difficult to say no sometimes--because we want to be friendly and connected--and it's easier to be stronger once we're alone (and can feel what's true for us) than in the heat of the moment.
Plenty of people quite comfortable in their skins might not want to go to a nude beach.
You've got lots of support here. Trusting your instincts is always a better idea than going along with someone else to keep the peace.
11 Jul 10 by member: justbreathe
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