slsmitty's Journal, 30 Nov 22

I had a revelation one time when I crackhead neighbor of mine wanted to know how to solve the dilemma between wanting to be healthy and wanting to do crack. Made me think that taking care of myself for me was what I was doing for my future self. I started cutting calories recently and actually losing steadily - why am I doing it now when it hasn't worked since 2009? I figured out that the people I spend time with not only care about their own health but also my health too. I can eat and drink what I want any time I want - I just can't eat until I am sick every day because that interferes with the other thing that I want which is to be at a healthier weight than I am now. I am sorry you feel deprived and starved - I think those feelings can be modulated by deciding that you will eat some fun food in moderation some times and pick the times. I have been pondering for a while, and talking with friends who struggle and some who have been successful at getting to a good weight. One thing recently I realized: I weigh the same as my grandmother and my mother did when they were my age. That coupled with the fact that my boyfriend lost 18 pounds by eating a truly starvation diet (500 calories a day for 3 weeks) and I decided that I really need to cut calories and that is the only thing that is going to get me what I want. I am literally in the same spot as you weight wise - hope you can come to a better place psychologically around heading to the goal in the only way that works!  

@abbadabba Thanks for reaching out. It's true that I need to get my head in a better place. I'm also trying to do the less calories per day but I seem to be the type of person who can't just have one, whether it's cookies, candy or drinks. I have to get better at that. Small steps and continually trying is what I'll have to do. Thanks for writing back.