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So, I've never had a great self image. I was round as a kid. I wouldn't have defined myself as fat, but I definitely was not skinny. I am 41 years old and I remember being called "Little Mis Piggy" in the 3rd grade and I remember who said it. I remember my mother, a size 24 at the time, telling me I was getting a little "pudgy" in Junior High. I was a size 6 and running track.
I've always looked round - no matter what size I am. I could be a size 0 and I'd still look round!! In high school and college, I chose to row crew. This helped keep me in shape, but in an effort to maintain my weight for weigh ins and not be embarrassed by people seeing my weight - I edged on the anorexic side.
Now, as an adult, I still don't have a great relationship with food or my body image. I know that my broad shoulders make me look larger than I am, but reconciling that when I weigh as much as my dad (who is 4 inches taller than me), is a really difficult thing to do!!
My mom passed 7 years ago from complications of not taking care of her diabetes. My dad and sister both have diabetes and high cholesterol. So far, I do not show any signs of diabetes, but I have high cholesterol, so I'm making a diligent effort to change my eating habits and my exercise habits. Since the height and weight charts still say I'm "overweight", I'm trying to drop a few more pounds while I'm at it. For once in my life, I'd like to go to the doctor's office and not be counseled by a doctor/NP more out of shape than me about my eating/exercise habits.
When I reach 145 pounds, I will officially no longer be overweight. Crazy, right? That's 5 more pounds at this point. I wish the number didn't mean so much, but for now...it does. And if I get healthier and avoid diabetes and rid myself of high cholesterol along the road...wonderful! Watching my mom die was terrible and if I can change anything unhealthy about me, I am going to try...I don't want my children to see me the way I saw my mom...
Karen
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1334 kcal
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Fat: 58.88g | Prot: 84.35g | Carbs: 126.21g.
Breakfast: Salsa, Daisy Sour Cream, Wal-Mart Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast, Crystal Farms Shredded Cheddar Cheese, Egg, Thomas' Light Multi-Grain English Muffin, Country Crock Churn Style Butter. Lunch: Water. Dinner: Chipotle Mexican Grill Sour Cream, Chipotle Mexican Grill Cilantro-Lime Brown Rice, Chipotle Mexican Grill Fajita Vegetables, Chipotle Mexican Grill Lettuce, Chipotle Mexican Grill Black Beans, Chipotle Mexican Grill Cheese, Chipotle Mexican Grill Fresh Tomato Salsa, Chipotle Mexican Grill Chicken. Snacks/Other: Private Selection English Toffee Caramel Ice Cream, Water, Water, Water. more...
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