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So...I have been f'ing up lately. This month has been horrible for me. My step-father died, my uncle is in a coma, I found out I have stage 1 arthritis in my right knee and need surgery, one of my clients almost died, and I have a skin rash. To say I have been stressed is a huge understatement. Throughout this crazy/trying/depressing/shitty month, I did realize something...I haven't recorded anything in my food diary. Now this could be one of two reasons: 1) that I have been so overwhelmed that I forgot; or 2) that I am an emotional eater and have possibly reversed all of the progress that I made over these few months within a few weeks. I believe that both are true, possibly more so the latter. I have been so overcome with emotions for this past month, that I have drowned my sorrows in chocolate, Halloween candy, white wine, and other things that I cannot remember. I feel sick, disgusted, ashamed, embarrassed, and angry with myself. I thought I was better than that, that I would be able to keep up with my amazing progress. The truth is, is that stress is a big trigger for me to eat. I realized that tonight looking at the blank entries of food diary and feeling the afore mentioned emotions, plus a few more. As I review my lack of effort to maintain my weight loss/management/diet/healthy lifestyle, I realized something...I CAN control what I put in my body regardless of all the out of control things that are going on in my life. I DO have a choice to say, I WILL NOT drown my sorrows in that big box of (delicious) Sarris Chocolate Covered Pretzels and the realize that the best anedote for stress is to regain some form of control in your life. Rather than feeling like a failure, I will look at this event as an enlightening look into a very self destructive pattern that I will break in order to incorporate new, more healthy patterns into my life. Here's to new beginnings (again...)!!!
View Diet Calendar, 18 November 2011:
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1653 kcal
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Fat: 42.89g | Prot: 92.49g | Carbs: 235.61g.
Breakfast: raisins, Kashi Go Lean crunch, skim milk. Lunch: panera bread french, panera bread chopped chicken cobb salad, panera broccoli cheddar soup. Dinner: rice, goya black beans, steamfresh peas, steamfresh sweet corn, steamfresh green beans, Mahi Mahi. Snacks/Other: marble cake, water, utz halloween mini pretzels. more...
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