Mama Pajama's Journal

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03 April 2019

this whole 'vlcd' thing has got me so screwed in the head - I feel like I can just starve myself for the next three months, lose 90 pounds, and be done, but I also want to eat Everything I see...not to mention the headaches, stomach cramps, brain fog, and general annoyance. everyone I talk to about it says screw my doc and I shouldn't continue, just stick to a regular amount of calories, but slightly reduced, and walk more often. I'm conflicted, because it's triggering my long-buried anorexic tendencies, which I know I don't want to revisit, but..I also feel like I'm doing my precious body harm, and I don't want to disrespect my Temple like that. I love my body - at any size (but wouldn't it be nice to see my rib cage again? or have those visible collar bones?) AAaarrgghhh!!!!! what to do?
Weight: Lost so far: Still to go: Diet followed:
106.6 kg 3.6 kg 52.2 kg Reasonably Well
   Add Comment Losing 4.2 kg a Week

01 April 2019

never paid attention to my diet or exercise (minus a small struggle with anorexia in high school), just ate what I ate, and stayed active dancing, practicing martial arts, doing yoga, weight training, riding my bike, walking/hiking with friends, and working hard at physical jobs. in my 30's I became much more sedentary, and made unhealthy food choices, then had a baby. the weight I gained in pregnancy came right off, but I kept eating poorly, using food as a way to deal with my loneliness and isolation as a single working mom. now I'm 50, am mostly sedentary, have been diagnosed diabetic, and am a whopping 100+ pounds overweight. two summers ago I did a three-week self-designed 'detox' that took some weight off, but more importantly, had me feeling really great. last summer I did the Whole30 thing and lost 30 pounds that went right back on after I finished, and slowly went back to the ways I was previously eating. my doctor recently (3/20) challenged me to count my calories, and keep them around 800 or less. I think that's stupid and dangerous for someone who had an eating disorder in the past - not to mention ongoing food issues for a number of reasons it's not important to get into here - but I'm working with it, and seeing how it goes. I've started doing a small amount of gentle yoga again, just to get myself up and moving. this is my journey ~

28 March 2019

Weight: Lost so far: Still to go: Diet followed:
110.2 kg 0 kg 55.8 kg Not Applicable


Mama Pajama's Weight History


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