Stayed up until 1:30 with my husband watching movies last night, sharing dark chocolate with one another as I sipped a mug of hot tea. The movie was terrible, but we let it go and just sat on the couch together, something that hasn't happened for over a month.
We are back on more stable footing. Tempers haven't flared. Egos are less bruised. Tonight is our last night before Gretchen and I leave for 5 weeks. It is a long time to be away from another and as a family. It wasn't meant to be that way. We were meant to spend some of that time together on the islands - splashing in waves and getting sticky with the juice of mangoes from the farmers market. But decisions were made, and that is now in the past, and we mustn't dwell in timelines that serve no purpose. I know he is sad to stay behind, but it was also his decision. This is the first time in a very long time that I did not cave and cancel or rearrange schedules to accommodate him. It was a very awful and heart-tugging decision, but it's one I have stuck with and am allowing to happen. Today we took Gretchen to the mini-golf course in town - I've not been there in aeons and I've never played. We had a hoot and I see that outing becoming a family fave. Reconciliatory, we laughed as our cheeks turned red in the afternoon air.
I do need this time away. It isn't meant to be an escape from my husband; more than anything it was an escape from my office. But it has become, in my opinion, not so much an escape as a marshalling of energy and thoughts. I am determined that this should happen at some point during that 5 weeks. I am travelling and staying with my parents in <a href="http://hawaiihale.com/"><b>their home</b></a>, which is small, but very sweet. There is, however, the opportunity for me to stay and house-sit at a home nearby, which I may do just to have a bit of alone time. I am taking Tostoy's "
War and Peace" which I have never read. I may take some knitting. I am taking a few journals.
I will visit the <a href="http://www.hilofarmersmarket.com/"><b>Hilo Farmer's Market</b></a>, probably multiple times while we are there. I'm sure we'll make it at least once or twice to the Maku'u Farmer's Market. We'll make a stop for the insane plates of food at <a href="http://kenshouseofpancakes-hilohi.com/index.html"><b>Ken's House of Pancakes</b></a> and I hope to be able to take Gretchen to the <a href="www.hilozoo.com"><b>Pana’ewa Rainforest Zoo and Gardens</b></a>. I plan to get treats for my staff at <a href="www.bigislandcandies.com"><b>Big Island Candies</b></a>. And I think we'll make it to the Kona side of the island and get a chance to visit <a href="http://www.hawaiistateparks.org/parks/hawaii/index.cfm?park_id=44"><b>Hapuna Beach</b></a>. The air, the smells, the warmth, the tastes, the beauty - perhaps these will be enough of a change to recharge me.
I plan on walking every morning, with the possible exception of the first week which will be spent on insane preparation for my 100-person birthday luau next Sunday. The caterer is an Auntie and the hula dancers are also Aunties. I may just buckle and get a karaoke DJ so I can belt out some 90's tunes that
da yout of today have never heard. I figure 40 is a one shot deal; I may as well make it count. But other than that week, I hope to walk, and my I am taking Gretchen's jogging stroller. My incentive is below, Shipman's Beach, the pot of gold at the end of the 3-mile trek. I'll keep ya'll posted if that happens!
<center><a href="http://www.hawaiihale.com/pictures/shipman2-b.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.hawaiihale.com/shipman_2a.jpg"></a>
<b>(Click on photo to see larger)</b></center>
P.S. Thank you everyone for your comments about yesterday's post. I know those who have been here for awhile feel the community at a much deeper level than I can in only a month. But I truly feel blessed to have such insights to draw from. And from people who have made it happen, are making it happen, and who will continue to make it happen. Ya'll are magic :)
5 Wonderful Things:
- Expectation (my Aunties doing the hula!)
- Reconciliation (mini-golf on a Sunday afternoon)
- Cooperation (Gretchen helping mama pack her suitcase)
- Rehabilitation (taking time to regroup)
- Satisfaction (being ok with food even if it means a short-term gain)
FOOD TIMING:
Bed time: 1:30A
Wake time: 9:15
Weight: 239.8
10:30 - Coffee/water
11:00 - Breakfast
12:00 - sandwiches
1:30 - water
2:30 - lunch/tea
4:00 - 7:00 - tea/water
7:00 - dinner
7:00 - 12:00 tea
10:30 ice cream
Didn't have tea this morning, in fact got too dehydrated in the AM. Tried to work at timing a lot more today. Loaded carbs in the morning/early afternoon. Lunch was a cobb salad, no dressing. Ate 2 1/2 of Gretchen's fries. WANTED ALL OF THEM, but desisted since it was already late. Ate another salad for dinner, lite dressing. Broke down and had ice cream when the crave wouldn't leave. Have been packing & organizing all day. Another weight gain this morning, not a surprise considering the havoc I wreaked Friday & Saturday with timing. Period is any day now, but that's not the whole reason for the gain. Time to reconnoiter. Will work on actually forecasting meals/activities while in Hawaii.