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befree
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Weight History
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18 June 2008
Weight:
Lost so far:
Still to go:
Diet followed:
130.5 kg
1.0 kg
8.1 kg
Reasonably Well
Add Comment
Losing 2.9 kg a Week
16 June 2008
Well I wished I would have read everyone's words of support
before
I went to my grandma's last night for a family dinner.
I was pretty hungry and those stupid thoughts came crashing in as I was helping myself to dinner and desserts (firsts and seconds on both accounts). Thoughts that I wasn't going to make it, that I should just eat what I want because fighting it would be just too hard, that I will always be fat, blah, blah, blah.
I guess 'giving in' to those thoughts all the time is how I got here - 300+ lbs. I can't even imagine how many calories I used to eat when I just didn't care. I am grateful for the food diary here as I can really see how all the food added up last night.
I am not sure how I ended being so hard on myself. It is a common theme in all areas of my life - and has been for awhile. Mostly, I end up quitting everything because I think I can't do it well enough, fast enough, good enough, etc.
I need to trust in this process more and mistrust myself less (I am not sure if that makes much sense).
We are having a weight loss competition at work and it is what catipulted me into trying to lose weight again. However, I think the competition is also really affecting my expectations.
But then as I write this journal that stupid voice comes in and says "who are you kidding, at 300 lbs you should be losing twice as much as everyone else". Just shut up!!!
Maybe I can't keep up with everyone else, but why give up? Just because I may not be the best, doesn't mean I don't matter.
I've gotta run. Thanks for all your words of support. They really do mean alot. Thinking about comments - I realize I don't comment on others journals alot because I think my comment won't be good enough, aaaaagggghhhhh! I can't get away from this voice.
Have a great day!
(3 comments)
16 June 2008
Weight:
Lost so far:
Still to go:
Diet followed:
131.4 kg
0.2 kg
8.9 kg
Reasonably Well
Add Comment
15 June 2008
All this work for 1 lb! I am getting so frustrated again.
Weight:
Lost so far:
Still to go:
Diet followed:
131.4 kg
6.1 kg
3.0 kg
Reasonably Well
(6 comments)
Losing 0.8 kg a Week
12 June 2008
I can't believe how many calories are in a bowl of Vietnamese Beef & Rice Noodle Soup! I thought it would be low in calories. It is a great healthy meal. However, I just need to plan my day for it better next time.
We were too tired last night to exercise or cook dinner. So we ordered in Vietnamese food as we all enjoy it. I am going to make up for the missed exercise tonight.
I hope everyone has a great day. The sun is shining here and I have work in an office with a window:)
(3 comments)
befree's Weight History
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